The past 8 or 9 weeks have been a whirlwind of emotions, congratulations and lots of laughter. About a week ago came the tears and questions of why. At our first prenatal appointment, the day before we left for High School Camp, we were excited to see an ultrasound of our little bean we expected to be about 8 weeks along. We had made our news public and were anticipating the growth of a little one. An ultrasound revealed that I was indeed pregnant but that the uterus did not include what it should. It was soon determined that I was most likely headed toward a miscarriage.
I didn’t experience any immediate symptoms of a miscarriage and was holding on to hope that the other side of things might be true…maybe I was just not as far along as first thought. This is something that was also normal.
We had to make a quick decision about high school camp and determined that we would all still go. It was a week by faith. We tried to go on like things were fine. But all along in the back of our minds was a huge possibility that I was in process of a miscarriage. Thank the Lord who got me through an entire week away with only minor issues. The last night of camp I began to cramp and bleed. And thank the Lord that I made it home in time for the real part of the miscarriage to take place.
This news is unexpected and sudden. Thanks so much for making our original news so special. While we’re not certain what God has planned for us, we want Him to be glorified through our circumstances. We definitely don’t have answers, but we want what He wants for us.
We don’t find it ironic that God gave us our little three year old foster daughter to care for a few months ago. Cheyenne has been an absolute doll and is such a part of our family. What He has planned for her or for us remains to be seen; but for now, we are thankful for the time we get with her.
From the beginning of our relationship, our lives have been an open book. What you see is what you get. We want people to walk with us through life. We aren’t perfect. We’ve made mistakes and we’ve had tough situations happen. At the end of the day we are thankful for how God has chosen to use us, as messed up as we are. We don’t have all the answers, but as we grieve we are trusting God and are excited to see what’s next for us and our family. We are hoping that God will grant us another little one who can grow fully. We look forward to that day.
Right now, as we explain to our little miss, our baby is being fully healed and is growing with Jesus. While mom doesn’t have a baby in her tummy anymore, we know our baby is safe with Jesus and that that’s the best place for our little one.
We appreciate your prayers and we may need shoulders to cry on. We love you.
Josh and Anna
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