Thanksgiving and Anticipation

That most amazing of holidays came and went for another year. Thanksgiving. The big holiday that means we can fill our tummies and see family and friends.

Granted, Thanksgiving is also not always a pleasant holiday and not every holiday is one of joy for some folks. Some of us grieve a lot during this season. We have difficult memories that we'd just as soon suppress and be done with. Or, we've lost someone very close to us, possibly around those special holidays and we do all we can do to remember those traditions and times we've shared. These holidays have taken on many different looks for me personally over the years. I've had to adjust to not spending so many holidays in the home I grew up in. But I am thankful for the times to see both sides of our growing families. We missed having Sittee and Jidu with us this year at Thanksgiving. I think I grieved a bit because of their absence. Mema made a beautiful feast, as always, and it was fun giving Addy her first few tastes of Thanksgiving turkey! She is still fighting a cold and those teeth are still coming in super slow. She didn't want to sit for long at the table and Josh and I ate in increments, which felt much like we do at home! Ha! Having a baby makes for a very entertaining time. But she is a trooper.

The day before Thanksgiving I made five pies and a batch of Pumpkin Whoopie Pies (I know the name is silly, but talk to Rachel Ray about that!). I think I had a personal lesson in giving thanks in all circumstances that day. Addy was very needy all day. She wanted up, she wanted down, she wanted "fishies," she wanted to dump them all out and crush them, she wanted to watch her favorite animal show she calls "babies" a lot and didn't want to do much of anything else. She wanted...

It was an exhausting baking day (I'm not complaining I'm just stating facts as a mom). Most of the pies were made with her in my arms and then when the rolling of the dough time came she wanted to be between my legs, putting at my pajamas, screaming that she wanted up. Josh had been outside putting up our Christmas lights. In a, what should have been, silly moment, Josh looked in at us from the outside window above the front door trying to be funny and catch Addy's attention. I had flour all over me and a screaming child at my legs. I yelled at  him, "Not now, I'm mad!!!"

Ah yes, there are some stressful moments as parents. And before I put Addy down for her nap, I apologized for being upset and said "Mommy is trying her hardest to be a good mommy. Mommy, just has stuff she needs to get done. I love you." And then it came, "I'm so thankful for you Adelynne Rose. Even when you make things way more complicated than they ever use to be!"

I had my little lesson in giving thanks in the midst of not feeling very thankful.

And should you think that my story had a happy peaceful ending, it doesn't really. My words didn't magically make Addy listen better after nap. She continued to be a teething tyrant the rest of the day.

Yet, moments like that (and they can be many) are teaching me many things.

Life does look different as you grow up, as you get married, as you become a parent. The space I use to have to myself, the ability to get up and go out for coffee, the ability to stay out late...it's all changed. 

Just last night I got to go out with some girl friends. The few hours we were out were just the refreshment I needed. And you know, we had to plan weeks out to make it happen with all of our schedules. But it happened. And I think I enjoyed it even more because I was looking forward to it so much. I'm thankful for friends who let me be me and understand my mommy/wife moments.

Life get's messy and complicated. I'm a people pleaser. I loose sleep and cant eat because I'm so concerned that what decisions are made and choices I have to make won't make someone happy. In return, I find no merit, no joy, only more stress. This time of year use to be a happy time to look forward to. How to I return to thankfulness? How do I return to the mode of expectation being one of excitement, not stress?


Josh and I are reading through two advents devotionals together this year. Something we read the other night stuck out: anticipation. That big word that describes the prophetess Anna as she waited in the Temple day after day, week after week, month after month, year after year. In fact, Scripture makes it sound like she basically lived in the Temple. She stayed there day and night, fasting and praying. Her life was one lived in anticipation, of expectation. Her husband died only after about seven years of marriage. She had been a widow for years and years. Her life hadn't gone as planned. Yet she dedicated her life to being in the Temple, praying, waiting in anticipation as she looked for the Messiah, the one who would step into her world and make all things new. She looked forward in hope that the day would be near. And, the interesting thing to me is that when she see's Mary and Joseph and the young Jesus in the Temple that day, her anticipation doesn't dwindle because the Chosen One, the Messiah has come in the form of a baby (unexpected). She doesn't even focus on the method God choose to reveal himself. The fact was "HERE HE IS!!" "MESSIAH HAS COME!!"Scripture states of Anna's response that she began praising God and then began telling everyone  who had been waiting expectantly for God to rescue Jerusalem.

Welcome to Advent. Welcome to the celebration of the coming Messiah whose Kingdom reign is both now and not yet. Shouldn't we too be waiting in anticipation, praying, fasting, praising God?

I desire my life to be one lived in the same anticipation. Despite the unexpected changes around me, despite the changing traditions and the new ones we make. Despite all of this: Christ has come into this world. He's ripped the veil that once separated us and has come in an unexpected way, breaking into the lives we wouldn't expect a King to break into. His rule and reign mattered then, it matters now and it will matter in the future.

 

So even when life takes upon the unexpected and you crave a sense of normalcy, remember God shattered the normal all the time. But we can live in anticipation that He will again come to make all things new, to give all things a new start, a new look, a new purpose. Live in hope.