I came home from getting my hair trimmed and a quick run to the grocery store to see Josh and Addy coming toward me from their bike ride. Addy was wearing an old outfit from Cheyenne, our foster daughter, and the same helmet Chey use to wear while riding her Hello Kitty bike. I had to look twice because Addy looked so much like Chey.
I had a little lump in my throat and quickly swallowed it.
But I couldn't help my mind from thinking of the ways God had and has been redeeming the past.
Cheyenne had our hearts. She called us "mommy" and "daddy" We were captivated by her for ten beautiful months.
That December when we transitioned her back to her bio mom was difficult to say the least. Christmas was awkward to celebrate and nothing felt the same. A few months prior to her return, we had a miscarriage. And a few weeks before she returned, we decided to get our beagle, Cocoa. I knew I would need something to snuggle.
Lately, I'm reminded of how much of the past pain and heartache God has been redeeming, over and over again.
Honestly, I'm overwhelmed by it.
A few months ago, we found out we were expecting again and just yesterday, at 21 weeks, we found out our little one is a little man. Addy is thrilled and so are we.
On the days I feel overwhelmed as a mom (and they are many), I try to remind myself of what God is doing through our lives. I try to remember my blessings, little and big.
We told many of our friends and family we were pregnant, but not early on. And I know it was hard for many of them to not see it on Facebook right away. I just want you to know, we were really enjoying telling people as we could, face to face. We felt such a joy being able to see peoples reactions and have them share in our joy. You can't fully capture those moments over social media, now can you?!
Also, having gone through loss ourselves, we are ultra sensitive to sharing this news with others, especially over social media. We by no means want to cause further grief to those already suffering enough. But thank you friends for being gracious in our news and sharing in our joy.
Cheyenne use to love singing the Gungor song "Beautiful Things" and to me it captured so much of her little life and soul.
Right now, it encompasses so much of my heart. Even through my unknown, fear-ridden days as a mom, carrying another little life inside of me, I need to know that He is continuing to make beautiful things out of me...out of all of us.
Everyone's story is a beautiful depiction of God's redemption being woven into and through our lives. Sharing in each other's pain and joy is a way of showing others a glimpse of God at work, whatever part of the journey we are on.
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