One of the conversations I seem to have found myself a part of a lot these days is, "What should I post online for the world to see?" As in, "Should I choose to post only the good moments or should I reveal the normal, crazy, I'm going to pull my hair out and someone is gonna call the cops on me moments?"
Fellow mom friends, have you entertained the same sorts of questions? I mean really, what makes you choose to post the so not normal pictures of your seemingly everyday routines with perfectly behaved children over the ultra realistic cereal bowl smashed to the ground, insanely high pitched scream protesting the "Go potty and get on your shoes" roll call?
Essentially I'm asking do we post only the good moments and leave the forgettable moments by the wayside? And if so, why?
I think my generation and following are quite invested into the notion of authenticity. People just want real, right? They want to know that the same crud that takes place in their homes, with their kids and family time happens across the street and to the pastors family too. Right? Don't we find a little bit of comfort in the fact that their kid lashes out irrationally too? (I borrowed that line from The Santa Clause...thank you Tim Allen).
Here's the thing, I often only post on my Instagram those happy, pleasant moments and occasionally mention the crazy that led up to that moment or the rest of the day that was hell-ish after that glorious moment. But I don't dwell on the negative. My writing on this blog is often a bit more in depth into those "normal" moments. I'm not a fan of taking a picture of my kids while in the midst of a tantrum. First, I have no free moments during the tantrum to grab my camera or phone. Second, I don't think that's necessarily fair to our kids. I mean, how would we like it if our kids posted our moments of loosing it for all the world to see? How's that for authentic and honest?
Here's the truth. Raising kids is no small feat. I rarely have an entire day that I can look back and say I've done a great job today as a mom. Because ya'all the truth is often times I mess up royally. I'm not always composed or remember to be calm. Sometimes raising kids makes me question all that I know to be good and gracious and want to lash out irrationally. And I do.
I don't always feel I'm great as a mom or a wife or a human being for that matter. But ya'all I'm a work in progress. And, here's the thing...I kept them alive today. They had good food on the table. They were bathed. We played. They fought. I lost it. We had beautiful moments I wish I could capture but I'll try to hold in my heart and mind forever.
Life, day in and day out as a parent is so full of so many mixed emotions. I cannot tell you how many times I've described my day to Josh as a day in the Psych Ward. No sooner our sweet moment is under way, five seconds later, the roof is caving in and sudden emotions leave me spinning. I. can't. catch. up.
The batch of cookies we made together was beautifully captured and then five minutes later a fit was underway because she didn't want to clean up.
The messes are never ending, the dishes constant. Sometimes all I feel I do is referee and clean...all day. But here we are. This is us. This is the makings of something holy. I feel it.
Chaos is all around me and I truly do try to seek the holy in the mundane because I honestly feel there is some underlying sweet, life giving existence to be lived in the midst of it all. Real life often feels typical. As young kids, don't we all often dream of the "When I'm an adult..." Then when adulting happens, we cringe what our life has become.
I choose to remember the moments Norman would have captured and learn from the moments better left in the psych ward. I absolutely love it when a fellow mom friend spills the beans on her day in the life because you know what...that's truth. I live it every single day. I'm working on finding humor in the moments that feel isolating and unkind. I'm looking for joy...even a small glimmer of it.
And the other thing I'm recognizing about myself is that when I can exercise the gifts God has given me in other capacities other than within my own home, I somehow come alive. For some people this means working outside the home in a job that is life giving and using their adult skills. For others it's the opportunity to volunteer and pour into peoples lives. I personally love to teach and mentor teens. Teaching Scripture and Theology is something that I have really missed, especially within the capacity of youth ministry. It's an area I desire to grow more maturely in. But it just fills me with such joy, I just can't explain it. I. Geek. Out.
So, I move through my days with an attempt at making it memorable for them, for me. But often times I experience the mundane and find myself stuck. Stuck in appreciating its value. Stuck because it can feel lonely.
Then I talk to my mom friends and somehow the world seems right again.
Precious sisters sharing the same journey, with different little people: let's not be too hard on ourselves. Good job for keeping your crew alive today. Good job for picking up that pile of blocks for the 17th time today. Good job for reading to your kids with constant interruptions from your younger crew and the dog. Good job for sacrificing your own sleep for the sake of staying up all night with them when their sick. Good job for starting the laundry in the washing machine and remembering it five hours later. Good job for attempting a bathroom break while playing goalie keeping your baby away from the dog dish that happens to be also located in the bathroom (I have no experience with this). Good job mama friends.
You have a tough job. Not all of it will feel memorable today. Most of it you probably don't want to capture and post and that's okay. I see you. I hear you. You are my heroes.
PS: If you have a MOPS (Mother's of Preschoolers) group that meets in your area, try to join them! I recently joined one myself and I already feel part of something great.
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