On Fostering and Loving a Child You Didnt Birth Into the World...

I'm so thankful to be a foster parent. This was a leap of faith Josh and I took about seven months ago. Just like many of lives circumstances and great mysteries, nothing can fully prepare you for taking a child into your heart, home and schedule; a child you did not birth into this world. Were told to love them like their our own but you can't really prepare for them to stay. Fostering is the in between, the waiting for biological family to be redeemed, to be given yet another chance to show the minimum requirement to be a parent.

Josh and I have been married for 4 plus years. We have no kids of our own but miscarried a few months ago. While hoping to still have our own children, fostering is where we have landed. Somehow God wants us to be parents to those not by blood our own. We have "fostered" several teens over the years, not by the hand of DHS but by the will of God. These students we have mentored and poured ourselves into. Beyond the trite saying of "doing life together" we have indeed shared our open lives with them and they with us.

But how much further God is asking us to go is unclear.

Tonight I'm struggling with parenting a child not fully mine but completely Gods. She is almost four and always adorable even when she does something wrong...that's a problem. She states that she has two mommies and one daddy, a matter I carry on my shoulders. I take this seriously. Empty promises told to a three year old are unfair and uncalled for. I can't promise her I know the future but God help me point her to the One who does.

I'm concerned for her and many children being tossed about through a system with inconsistent rules and laws that seem to give a stronger voice to the addicted parents than to the innocent children...but I'm a bit biased. Who does really work on their behalf? Who picks up the pieces after legal decisions are decided?

Enjoy the Silence: A 30 Day Experiment in Listening to God

Josh is starting something new with our junior high staff: reading the same book as a group, but reading on our individual time. To start us out, he purchased everyone the book, “Enjoy the Silence: A 30 Day Experiment in Listening to God,” by Maggie Robbins and Duffy Robbins, a husband and wife who produce many resources for Youth Specialties.

The idea behind the book is to bring believers back to the simplicity of learning how to listen to God via a couple different forms, primarily, “Lectio Divina: the practice of wholly listening.” The writers make clear the premise that this practice of learning to listen is not about following steps and making sure one goes through each step perfectly. Rather, “the spiritual disciplines…are about developing habits that will help us gaze into the face of our partner, Jesus, our Lord of the Dance” (15).

After describing some ideas for listening to God, the remainder of the book is set up as a devotional, or a daily reading and pondering of a portion of scripture. Josh and I have been individually going through the book and today found me on Day 1 and Day 2 in the reading. I began day 1 yesterday, but I wanted to continue in it today as well.

Day 1: Luke 8:4-15. Jesus tells the parable of the seed that fell on different kinds of soil. The seed, represents the Word of God, and the soil, represents the heart of the person hearing the Word. I must admit that my heart is often not as receptive as it should be when I hear God’s voice through His Word. And I know I’m not alone. Silence and developing the art of “wholly listening” takes a lot of time and patience. I tend to be easily distracted, going through the numerous lists in my head of things I must get done in a day, week, etc, instead of setting aside my worries.

I believe the “seed” in my life often lands on the thorns. “Other seed fell among thorns, which grew up with it and choked the plants…The seed that fell among thorns stands for those who hear, but as they go on their way they are choked by life’s worries, riches and pleasures, and they do not mature” (vs. 7, 14).

So often, I know God is speaking to me, to act and react to His calling and beckoning, but His Word is being “choked” by the “worries, riches and pleasures” around me, the “idols” sort to speak that distract my attention. My small group of girls I had during a discussion time during Sunday School and I discovered this truth together. We have been going through the book of 1 John on Sunday mornings. 1 John’s final sentence states, “Keep away from idols” or “keep away from anything that might take God’s place in your hearts.”

“Cultivate my heart, Lord, so I may catch every word that falls from heaven—every syllable of encouragement, every sentence of rebuke, every paragraph of instruction, every page of warning. Help me to catch these words as the soft, fertile soil catches seeds.” –Ken Gire, U.S. Author and Speaker, pp. 29 “Enjoy the Silence.”