A Heart-Cry for Women's Ministry

Something about "Women's Ministry" within the church screams: married, mommy, Jesus-lover.

Yet, "women" encapsulate so much of a broader spectrum: 

Single

No Kids

Unable to have kids

Dating

Married

Abused

Re-married

Divorced

College-Student
Widow

Homemaker

Career Woman

Intellectual

Recovering

And more...

What breaks my heart about many ministries programmed to accommodate "women" is that we tend to marginalize and pick and choose which women we want to include. 

I suppose we justify that maybe "we have a college ministry, so the college aged girls will just go there." 

For me, Women's Ministry is something every Jesus-follower female does every day. 

This sort of ministry is hard to package up into a church program because, by gollie, it's just too diverse. Think of the women you know in your own life. Even if their a "stay-at-home" mommy, they do anything but simply "stay-at-home." Their going in all directions. Some of them even work additionally part time within the home or out of the home. Yet, they all get lumped into a category. 

College-aged girls aren't opposed to mingling with women outside of their sphere. If anything, I see such a huge need for mentor-ship across the board. Yet, this sort of need is also hard to stuff into the perimeters of a program. Have you talked with college students recently? Their crazy busy! Not only do they have a full load of classes, but many of them work to pay off debt and rent. A good majority of them are also invested into some sort of ministry, serving where there are needs and where their own passions need to be used. Their just busy. 

And what of the career woman who doesn't perhaps "stay-at-home" at all but travels extensively and leads at her business or particular field? If we created a ministry for her within the walls of the church, what good would that do? 

Women's ministry as a whole, like many other ministries seem to be best suited within and out of the church. To expect all women to find their place within the walls of the church is difficult to say the least. 

What I love about females is just how diverse we are. And you know what, we know how to make things work! We can tango and dance around schedules and commitments like no body's business. Yes, it's hard, but I just gotta say many of us can make time for what is important. We'll go visit a friend and bring her a coffee when she is having a hard day. We'll schedule play dates for our kids to play but also for our own sanity. We'll forge ahead through a crazy school schedule and still make time to exercise and go out to Salt & Straw with a friend. We're just pretty diverse in our abilities and our commitments. 

Perhaps Women's Ministry is something that offers Bible Studies and events within the walls of the church, but maybe it's much much more. 

I think too often we within the realms of church ministry assume that ministry isn't taking place unless we hear about it or unless we initiate it as a program at church. I think that's a pretty broad assumption. 

Thank the Lord, I have countless examples of how "ministry" happens every day in my relationships with women, young and old. And the longer I live, I can testify to how much sweeter those relationships have become. 

I feel very blessed and so overcome with joy when I think about those girls I've mentored and loved when they were in middle school, who are now adults, pursuing their dreams and life goals. Some are hard-working students, some work full time, some are in church ministry, some are married or on their way to the altar, some are even starting to have kids. WOW! 

Talk about life coming full circle! It's very rewarding and perhaps my most favorite part of seeing relationships grow over the years. 

And, even though our relationships began within the walls of the church, it has advanced into so much more. I'm even seeing some of them take the initiative and lead a Bible study from their homes or schools or places of employment. 

"Ministry" in its essence is a fruit, a by-product of our faith in God. We love Him, so we share it with others. We want to know him more, so we do what we can to further that relationship. 

My heart-cry for "Women's Ministry" is to recognize the ministry that is all ready taking place every day. And then to encourage those ministries to grow and flourish, helping new leaders to rise up. Teaching them how to lead and doing it within their own spheres. 

How do we do this? 

Sometimes we can't expect all those categories of women to come to us. Sometimes we have to go to them, in their homes, helping them wash their dishes and talk about Jesus. Sometimes we need to show up at their school with a coffee in hand during finals week and pray with them, encourage them. Sometimes we need to give them tools to better their life and walk along side them. 

And sometimes we just need to listen, to be. 

Let's welcome the diversity of all women into how we plan an event. Granted, not all will show up, but we can try. 

I once knew of a high-up woman, who worked in the business world. She was an inspiration to me because, even though she was insanely busy, she began a Bible study during lunch time in her office, for anyone who wanted to attend. She helped to provide any interested with tools to study the Bible and she wasn't afraid to discuss controversial issues that maybe the church shy'd away from. She was bold and yet willing to learn. 

So, let's plan those women's events at church, let's encourage them to attend that Bible study. But at the heart of how women do ministry is always more than meets the eye. 

And let's not forget those who don't neatly fit into our program for "Women's Ministry." 

One of my most favorite things to recognize about the character of Jesus, is how he conducted himself with women. He wasn't afraid to welcome the outcast, the unclean and the marginalized, even when the religious leaders of his time didn't. He even welcomed women to journey with he and his disciples as they ministered. And the fact that women are even mentioned in genealogies of Scripture would normally be unheard of. 

Jesus values women, no matter what their social status or past sin. He recognized faith in their hearts and ran with it. He spurred them on to be better than the social norms put on them. 

I think he's a fine example of how to minister to women. 

When the Church Play's "What If?"

11:34 pm has my mind tossing around ridiculous themes. I've been here before, me and my mind. The next step is a restless night because my mind won't shut off.

But tonight I am asking myself, "What would happen if the Church (the body of Christ) played a few rounds of the game, 'What If?'" 

You know that visionary game where you pose a question and then the other person has to answer. 

Sometimes the questions are impossible to conceive of a good answer. So you mull it around and then produce what you think is the best sounding response. 

But what if the body of Christ, his beautiful yet broken bride, played this game seriously. 

Imagine the possibilities when those visionary questions lead to an actual vision and that vision leads to an actual plan and then that plan became the best action the world has ever seen??? What if???

What if we decided to not form another committee to gain someone else's opinion (valuable as it may be)?

What if the church valued a woman and didn't expect to see her use her gifts only in Women's Ministry or Children's Ministry? 

What if our meetings were held in bars, cafes and sports clubs? 

What if the style of our music wasn't so much focused on as how radical our brothers and sisters were when they poured themselves out in worship to the Lord by serving the least of these? 

What if our youth knew how to study and apply the Word of God itself, not just a popular topic? 

What if our pastors weren't burned out by around the clock expectations because they're people too?

What if getting to know a persons name was more important than knowing what number they are when they walk through our doors? 

What if we took the Sabbath seriously and applauded those who lead us when they are honest in their burn out and decide to not attend another meeting so they can commune with the one who called them into ministry in the first place? 

What if pastor's wives weren't a catch all for all of the expectations of their husbands, as well as keeping house and kids in tact? 

What if we saw our neighbors more than the members of the budget committee? 

What if the church recognized modesty as not just a female issue but a male issue as well? 

Consequently what if modesty meant waaaaaay more than the clothes we wear? 

What if social media spread the word about needs around us more than helping us personally push for having the most "likes" on a picture we take of ourselves with yet another kissy face pose? 

What if we stopped trying to appease the masses and made do with our loaves and fishes?

What if what we believe about "family values" was shaped less by an organization and more on correctly dividing the Word of Truth? 

While these "what if's" aren't targeted directly at one church in particular, my 32 years of being a part of numerous churches has taught me many things. And even though I'm one of the "younger ones" perhaps wisdom isn't far from me? 

I don't claim to have all of the answers and perhaps I'm a visionary myself. But a few things are grievous to me when it comes to our God's bride. 

I'm reminded of the prophet's of old. Maybe they were like a Rich Mullins or Keith Green or Shane Claiborne, calling us back to our first love, calling us back to a simpler way of doing things. Calling us beyond the next meeting, strategy committee and focus group, to something much more greater, much more Kingdom Come. Wasn't that Israel's problem? Weren't they constantly in need of reminders to RETURN to the Lord their God, the one who brought them out of slavery and bondage to a land flowing with milk and honey? 

Call me simple minded but I feel there must be something more to this thing called faith, church and Christianity. There's gotta be something we're missing. 

What is is about the Kingdom now that desperately cries out for the Kingdom yet to come, when all things are made new? As we live between the Kingdoms, if our hearts aren't longing for something more, something beyond ourselves, then are we really seeking His Kingdom first? 

Ultimately, why are we so easily distracted? Maybe we could take a few lessons from Israel? 

What if our kids next play date became an opportunity to listen, to help heal and to encourage? 

What if we said no to planning more "opinion related" meetings and focused on doing and being? 

I'm not saying there isn't a place for planning and assessing. But for heaven's sake [pun intended] can we just chill out a bit and not let our calendars bleed that much? 

Perhaps we will have more time for listening and being, for Sabbath and for true rest, for Kingdom now and Kingdom yet to come work. 

What if...

Ruby Slippers: Reflections from the Book, Part 1

Have you ever picked up a book and read page after page with a new zeal for living? I have found a book that I believe has become as close as a best friend. Through reading "Ruby Slippers: How the Soul of a Woman Brings Her Home" by Jonalyn Grace Fincher, I have found a renewed passion for being a woman and the freedom, not confinement that brings.

What defines something as feminine or masculine? If you're like most people, you would classify femininity as things such as lacy, pink, frills, tea cups, dresses and romantic literature. Feminine characteristics may be defined as nurturers, compassionate, creative, and homemakers. You would most likely believe that masculinity would be defined as strength, valor, leaders, rescuers, tough and providers. If we succumb to the ideas that our culture sends us, men are looses who can't lead or provide for their family, can't meet the needs of their wives, are horrible communicators and desire nothing more than to sit on their bums all day in front of the football on the TV screen. Woman, according to the ideals of our culture, can either be passive and accepting, never standing up for their own good, or completely the opposite, quite sleazy as they work their way to the top. Both men and woman often seem to fall prey to the "mid-life crisis" where commitment and faithfulness walk out the door and in it's place is a sense of "we've fallen out of love" and I've found someone else who meets my needs that you've forgotten about.

But something can be lost when we think of our significance in these ways.

"The church has prescriptions for femininity too--only ours are usually more dogmatic and romantic than popular culture's versions. Modern Christian books for women claim that we are naturally more loving and want to be rescued, led, and sheltered. So the books teach us to be more respectful in order to get what our 'nature' wants. We are quick to take our cues from others without taking time to know what our nature is.

A dose of small-group Bible studies, a teaspoon of Dr. Laura, and a tablespoon of Oprah, some zest of Beth Moore, and viola, this is our femininity. We use this concoction of femininity to measure ourselves, our friends, and our foes. Femininity becomes a corset that we stuff souls into and hope the hooks don't bust open and reveal who we really are" (Fincher, pp 15).

The different corsets that Fincher suggests we find ourselves trying to fit into can be:

The Single Corset
The Sexy Corset
The Mother Corset
The Christian Wife Corset
The Working Wife Corset
The Athletic Girl Corset
The Academic Girl Corset

We often wear a few of these. "We often layer them, multiplying their effect, tightening the cords around our soul, until we look culturally appealing, Christianly appropriate, and feel wretchedly uncomfortable" (Fincher).

But often times, we try to fit into a corset, a mold that isn't entirely us, much like "pinching shoes."

Fincher argues for a kind of femininity that is "life-giving, not juvenile or overly idealistic, something that is not constricting, but freeing to our souls...something Christ might be able to help us find...a true femininity might be able to free rather than imprison us...a femininity that points us back home...where we belong...Femininity is a part of my essence, or philosophically speaking, my soul. Femininity is who I am, not merely what I do." Fincher concludes, "When it comes down to it, I believe there are essentially female characteristics, characteristics woman share across time and place and culture, characteristics with which God endowed us. But--and here is where I want to be very clear--I am not arguing for a kind of determinism ('Oh, I can't help that because I'm a woman') or polite, socially sanctioned oppression ('You cannot do that as well because women are gullible and less rational'). This 'soul essentialism' is not so much a matter of comparing myself to a list of feminine qualities and limiting myself to them, as it is discovering which feminine characteristics God put in me and allowing Christ to redeem and free me to be a woman."

And, Fincher would like readers to consider understanding the feminine soul by looking to the Maker of our souls. Upon knowing the God who created us (mind, body, soul and spirit), we can meet God who desires to take off the slippers that we are trying to cram ourselves into and allow him to better find a slipper that is designed for us, not someone else.

Here is a new kind of prayer (feel free to put in what describes you, remembering that feminine is who I am, not merely what I do.

I am not a wife, a daughter, a sister, a mentor, a niece, a friend (your relationships).

I am not a journalist, a theologian, a youth leader (your training).

I am not a teacher, a mentor, a writer (your job).

I am not fun, enthusiastic, a cook, a musician or creative (your gifts).

I am not complicated, depressed, quick to assume or impatient (your failures).

I am none of these things.

I am a naked soul, clothed in the righteousness of Christ.


More quotes and gleanings from the book to come later...

Ruby Slippers: How the Soul of a Woman Brings Her Home

I recently saw that a friend who is in high school is planning on reading through a book this summer and blogging about his reflections as he reads. Well, I thought to myself, "What a wonderful summer ambition!" And, so I've taken up the same task with a different book.

Josh and I are finally ascribing to reading for enjoyment and personal benefit once again. I must admit that after college, my desire for sitting down with a good book in hand, even cozied up to a fireplace, hasn't been quite as golden. We both feel like these past few months we can officially plop ourselves down and enjoy a great read. I love talking with Josh about what he reads and he does the same for me.

Eventually, I'll see if Josh can post his reflections on a great book he is reading called "Crazy Love" by Francis Chan. Josh has found that this selection reads more like a devotional, but a thought-provoking one at that.

For now, I'd like to share some thoughts on a book I'm reading called, "Ruby Slippers: How the Soul of a Woman Brings Her Home" by Jonalyn Grace Fincher. Fincher, a graduate of Talbot School of Theology and the University of Virginia is the other half to an apologetics team with her husband called, "Soulation." You can find more information on them and their projects on their website: www.soulation.org. If you'd also like to follow Jonalyn and her husband Dale, they both have blogs: http://jonalynfincher.blogspot.com/ (Jonalyn's blog). You can also enjoy some funny moments from their own lives on their youtube videos: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sDybqmWB7YU and anything under http://www.youtube.com/user/WelshCorgiOwner . I especially love their pizza making videos!

As the book is concerned, I must admit this is quite the find of a book. I do believe that something unspoken has remained hidden for so long as it relates to a woman's role and significance in life. This book has been food for my mind and rest for my soul.

Please pick up a copy for yourself and even read along with me if you'd like. I am currently about half way through, but I'm finding myself, much like Josh is with "Crazy Love," reading through with time and paused reflection as the tools by my side.

Perhaps, I'll begin with the same question that Jonalyn probed God with when she began this book. She asked God, "What do you value about woman?"