Parenting in Community (Where the village people are as crazy as you are)

Monday, a complete stranger complimented me. "You're doin' good, Mama!"she said as she held a door open for me and my stroller and two kids. "I remember those days."

What is it about commonality that is so comforting? I mean, someone has been in your shoes, has worn a similar hat to you and relates to you on a human level. There's just nothing like it.

Of course everyone's stories are different, but the overall theme that resonates in our souls says, "I see you. I understand you."

Those words carry with them a heavy weight lifted and a burden carried in part by someone else.

This morning I fought to "count it all joy." The night was rough. Baby Josiah slept great after about midnight, but I feel another cold coming on and my scoliosis pain has been raw lately. After getting Addy on the potty chair, Josiah was waking up. He's on a medicine for his reflux that he has to take a half hour before he eats. Poor fella after sleeping for a long time in the night, he was for sure ready for his milk. Try telling a starving infant he has to wait 30 minutes to eat. NOT FUN.

I stumbled downstairs with the kids, Josiah cranky in my arms and Addy ready to eat her breakfast. Josiah's binkie kept falling out and Addy was impatiently waiting for her exhausted mother to get her cereal. "I want my Hello Kitty spoon, mom." "I'll look for it," I sharply answered.

Then I fed the dog, Josiah still fussing in my arms.

"Eat your breakfast mom," Addy said.

"Mommy eats when she can," I again sharply responded.

And then it hit me.

As I was bouncing Josiah in front of our bathroom mirror I took a good look at my not so presentable image staring back at me. Motherhood has aged me greatly. 

To be perfectly honest, I've never had a slender figure. I've always struggled with my weight. Exercise and being active hasn't ever come easy for me because of my back pain. Now my more than flabby tummy looks like jello jiggling (just call me Santa) as I do the infamous mama bounce with my baby. My hair was out of sorts and frizzy all over the place, my face badly needed to be washed from yesterdays makeup and my spit up laced old maternity top looked like something the dog had worn for a month.

Josh graciously took Addy to school and I took the morning to finish cleaning out our pantry (boy, did it need it...kinda like I needed a nap).

Lately I've been struck with the idea that I can't do this...all of this parenting stuff on my own. Being a mom is the most difficult, exhausting, thankless job I've ever done. Motherhood has changed me greatly. Sometimes I don't like who I've become. I don't like how this job stretches my patience level and comfort level. Most days I feel inadequate and unmotivated on my own to complete anything. I get lonely if I'm isolated because of sickness or a naughty toddler's choices. And I repeat myself a lot.

Motherhood has given me career skills like none other. I never realized how many things can be done with one hand or mad multi-tasking skills:

• I can bounce a cranky baby with one arm and wipe a poopy bum with the other. 
• I can fix breakfast for the entire family, including the dog. 
• I can open cans, 
• I can start an art project with my daughter at the table and breast feed a baby at the same time. 
• I can text and bounce (just expect a few more typo's and weird auto corrects and probably no emoji usage. 
• I can talk on the phone, clean the bathrooms, mop the floors and discipline the dog for constantly licking everything in sight (yes I know he's a dog but excessive licking leads to him excessively vomiting). 
• I can read a book to my toddler, feed the baby  and stop to issue a time out. 

You get the idea. 

I am also firmly convinced that motherhood has prepared me for a fantastic job with the CIA or interrogations something. I can ask valuable questions until I get the right answer. 

Either that or I can definitely see myself with a career in the recording industry. I posses skills of repeating myself over and over and over and over. So much so that I might as well get paid to record my voice! 

Here's my not so brilliant, yet meaningful conclusion: I can't do this journey alone. Not to sound cliche and just drop a fun little Christian buzz word: journey...but in all seriousness, we aren't made to be alone. And why would we even desire it (aside from the need for the occassional potty break without the dog and toddler cozying up for a screaming/barking match...that's different). 

You know the whole phrase, "It takes a village to raise a child"? It's actually proving to be true. Not only do the kids need a community around them but the parents do as well. And the village people have to be as crazy as you! By crazy I mean radical, exhausted, overwhelmed with love and being love kind of crazy. They have to be willing to see you in your mess, your no-frills, very unpinterest worthy moments. They have to be willing to see you for who you really are, not just the best version of yourself. 

This is where the body of Christ comes in for Christians. In that community, you should experience the freedom to be the best reflection of Christ to your family and world you can muster up. There should be freedom to work out your mess and not stay in it. There should be help for our souls...real soul care not just care for the temporary topical issues that we face. We should experience long lasting freedom to carve out a calling that doesn't just put the breaks on when children enter our world. If anything, parents need to be allowed the freedom to continue exercising their gifting's long after parenthood falls upon them. 

Along with exercising our gifts in parenthood, we need to issue grace to one another when those gifts change, alter and go under the knife. We can help one another to be discerning to where and how the Spirit is leading, even when our season of life no longer stays the same. 

Single friends, we married couples with kids need you! And you know what? I think you need us too! Just because your season is different and by all means not necessarily less or more busy, doesn't negate the fact that we can value each other. Singles have the ability to go and do where a mom or dad can't necessarily just get up and go. And parents know a lot about sacrificing and having a ton on their plate. Maybe a worthwhile example to be around? 

Some of my most favorite days are days where I feel validated as a person, a mom, a wife because I've surrounded myself with others who see me not just for my role in life, but my basic worth as a human being with gifts that didn't go away when I  pushed a baby out of my body. I need to hear that I can still do and be all that God has called me to do and be. I need to hear that yes it will be hard and it may look different but it's still possible to hang on to that calling. 

And I need that village to be just as crazy as I am, if not more so. I need a little crazy in my life, more than I need a nap. 

PS: This blog only took me a few weeks to write. I've been busy leading a crazy life.

A Heart-Cry for Women's Ministry

Something about "Women's Ministry" within the church screams: married, mommy, Jesus-lover.

Yet, "women" encapsulate so much of a broader spectrum: 

Single

No Kids

Unable to have kids

Dating

Married

Abused

Re-married

Divorced

College-Student
Widow

Homemaker

Career Woman

Intellectual

Recovering

And more...

What breaks my heart about many ministries programmed to accommodate "women" is that we tend to marginalize and pick and choose which women we want to include. 

I suppose we justify that maybe "we have a college ministry, so the college aged girls will just go there." 

For me, Women's Ministry is something every Jesus-follower female does every day. 

This sort of ministry is hard to package up into a church program because, by gollie, it's just too diverse. Think of the women you know in your own life. Even if their a "stay-at-home" mommy, they do anything but simply "stay-at-home." Their going in all directions. Some of them even work additionally part time within the home or out of the home. Yet, they all get lumped into a category. 

College-aged girls aren't opposed to mingling with women outside of their sphere. If anything, I see such a huge need for mentor-ship across the board. Yet, this sort of need is also hard to stuff into the perimeters of a program. Have you talked with college students recently? Their crazy busy! Not only do they have a full load of classes, but many of them work to pay off debt and rent. A good majority of them are also invested into some sort of ministry, serving where there are needs and where their own passions need to be used. Their just busy. 

And what of the career woman who doesn't perhaps "stay-at-home" at all but travels extensively and leads at her business or particular field? If we created a ministry for her within the walls of the church, what good would that do? 

Women's ministry as a whole, like many other ministries seem to be best suited within and out of the church. To expect all women to find their place within the walls of the church is difficult to say the least. 

What I love about females is just how diverse we are. And you know what, we know how to make things work! We can tango and dance around schedules and commitments like no body's business. Yes, it's hard, but I just gotta say many of us can make time for what is important. We'll go visit a friend and bring her a coffee when she is having a hard day. We'll schedule play dates for our kids to play but also for our own sanity. We'll forge ahead through a crazy school schedule and still make time to exercise and go out to Salt & Straw with a friend. We're just pretty diverse in our abilities and our commitments. 

Perhaps Women's Ministry is something that offers Bible Studies and events within the walls of the church, but maybe it's much much more. 

I think too often we within the realms of church ministry assume that ministry isn't taking place unless we hear about it or unless we initiate it as a program at church. I think that's a pretty broad assumption. 

Thank the Lord, I have countless examples of how "ministry" happens every day in my relationships with women, young and old. And the longer I live, I can testify to how much sweeter those relationships have become. 

I feel very blessed and so overcome with joy when I think about those girls I've mentored and loved when they were in middle school, who are now adults, pursuing their dreams and life goals. Some are hard-working students, some work full time, some are in church ministry, some are married or on their way to the altar, some are even starting to have kids. WOW! 

Talk about life coming full circle! It's very rewarding and perhaps my most favorite part of seeing relationships grow over the years. 

And, even though our relationships began within the walls of the church, it has advanced into so much more. I'm even seeing some of them take the initiative and lead a Bible study from their homes or schools or places of employment. 

"Ministry" in its essence is a fruit, a by-product of our faith in God. We love Him, so we share it with others. We want to know him more, so we do what we can to further that relationship. 

My heart-cry for "Women's Ministry" is to recognize the ministry that is all ready taking place every day. And then to encourage those ministries to grow and flourish, helping new leaders to rise up. Teaching them how to lead and doing it within their own spheres. 

How do we do this? 

Sometimes we can't expect all those categories of women to come to us. Sometimes we have to go to them, in their homes, helping them wash their dishes and talk about Jesus. Sometimes we need to show up at their school with a coffee in hand during finals week and pray with them, encourage them. Sometimes we need to give them tools to better their life and walk along side them. 

And sometimes we just need to listen, to be. 

Let's welcome the diversity of all women into how we plan an event. Granted, not all will show up, but we can try. 

I once knew of a high-up woman, who worked in the business world. She was an inspiration to me because, even though she was insanely busy, she began a Bible study during lunch time in her office, for anyone who wanted to attend. She helped to provide any interested with tools to study the Bible and she wasn't afraid to discuss controversial issues that maybe the church shy'd away from. She was bold and yet willing to learn. 

So, let's plan those women's events at church, let's encourage them to attend that Bible study. But at the heart of how women do ministry is always more than meets the eye. 

And let's not forget those who don't neatly fit into our program for "Women's Ministry." 

One of my most favorite things to recognize about the character of Jesus, is how he conducted himself with women. He wasn't afraid to welcome the outcast, the unclean and the marginalized, even when the religious leaders of his time didn't. He even welcomed women to journey with he and his disciples as they ministered. And the fact that women are even mentioned in genealogies of Scripture would normally be unheard of. 

Jesus values women, no matter what their social status or past sin. He recognized faith in their hearts and ran with it. He spurred them on to be better than the social norms put on them. 

I think he's a fine example of how to minister to women. 

When the Church Play's "What If?"

11:34 pm has my mind tossing around ridiculous themes. I've been here before, me and my mind. The next step is a restless night because my mind won't shut off.

But tonight I am asking myself, "What would happen if the Church (the body of Christ) played a few rounds of the game, 'What If?'" 

You know that visionary game where you pose a question and then the other person has to answer. 

Sometimes the questions are impossible to conceive of a good answer. So you mull it around and then produce what you think is the best sounding response. 

But what if the body of Christ, his beautiful yet broken bride, played this game seriously. 

Imagine the possibilities when those visionary questions lead to an actual vision and that vision leads to an actual plan and then that plan became the best action the world has ever seen??? What if???

What if we decided to not form another committee to gain someone else's opinion (valuable as it may be)?

What if the church valued a woman and didn't expect to see her use her gifts only in Women's Ministry or Children's Ministry? 

What if our meetings were held in bars, cafes and sports clubs? 

What if the style of our music wasn't so much focused on as how radical our brothers and sisters were when they poured themselves out in worship to the Lord by serving the least of these? 

What if our youth knew how to study and apply the Word of God itself, not just a popular topic? 

What if our pastors weren't burned out by around the clock expectations because they're people too?

What if getting to know a persons name was more important than knowing what number they are when they walk through our doors? 

What if we took the Sabbath seriously and applauded those who lead us when they are honest in their burn out and decide to not attend another meeting so they can commune with the one who called them into ministry in the first place? 

What if pastor's wives weren't a catch all for all of the expectations of their husbands, as well as keeping house and kids in tact? 

What if we saw our neighbors more than the members of the budget committee? 

What if the church recognized modesty as not just a female issue but a male issue as well? 

Consequently what if modesty meant waaaaaay more than the clothes we wear? 

What if social media spread the word about needs around us more than helping us personally push for having the most "likes" on a picture we take of ourselves with yet another kissy face pose? 

What if we stopped trying to appease the masses and made do with our loaves and fishes?

What if what we believe about "family values" was shaped less by an organization and more on correctly dividing the Word of Truth? 

While these "what if's" aren't targeted directly at one church in particular, my 32 years of being a part of numerous churches has taught me many things. And even though I'm one of the "younger ones" perhaps wisdom isn't far from me? 

I don't claim to have all of the answers and perhaps I'm a visionary myself. But a few things are grievous to me when it comes to our God's bride. 

I'm reminded of the prophet's of old. Maybe they were like a Rich Mullins or Keith Green or Shane Claiborne, calling us back to our first love, calling us back to a simpler way of doing things. Calling us beyond the next meeting, strategy committee and focus group, to something much more greater, much more Kingdom Come. Wasn't that Israel's problem? Weren't they constantly in need of reminders to RETURN to the Lord their God, the one who brought them out of slavery and bondage to a land flowing with milk and honey? 

Call me simple minded but I feel there must be something more to this thing called faith, church and Christianity. There's gotta be something we're missing. 

What is is about the Kingdom now that desperately cries out for the Kingdom yet to come, when all things are made new? As we live between the Kingdoms, if our hearts aren't longing for something more, something beyond ourselves, then are we really seeking His Kingdom first? 

Ultimately, why are we so easily distracted? Maybe we could take a few lessons from Israel? 

What if our kids next play date became an opportunity to listen, to help heal and to encourage? 

What if we said no to planning more "opinion related" meetings and focused on doing and being? 

I'm not saying there isn't a place for planning and assessing. But for heaven's sake [pun intended] can we just chill out a bit and not let our calendars bleed that much? 

Perhaps we will have more time for listening and being, for Sabbath and for true rest, for Kingdom now and Kingdom yet to come work. 

What if...

Being the Church

I recently heard a message where we were encouraged to ask the question, "What would happen if we stopped doing church and started being the church?"

With all that's happening in the body of Christ, my heart is grieved by how many meetings and committee's we have developed. In the words of Elvis we need, "A little less conversation, a little more action." Why are we so inclined to come up with great ideas but it falls on deaf ears? We're so consummed with the way and the method it has always been done by. There are the age old battles and the generational debates. At the heart of the gospel is a belief that has results. Obviously we're not saved by the good things we do, but let there be good fruit that stems from our belief and our faith!

Today over lunch, I discussed with Josh what it would be like if people in our church met the needs of our community more regularly. I thought first of our schools and all of the arts and PE classes that are having to be cut because of budgets. I asked what would happen if Christians from our local churches decided to volunteer their time, not in the name of a church or a movement, but just because in their heart of hearts they saw a need. I asked what if we took people who are gifted vocally, musically, athletically and they volunteered to develop programs for these students.

I am a firm believer that the arts and physical education is just as necessary as the scholastic basics. In my ten years of working with youth, I have seen how much my students thrive off of the arts and their sports. It's an outlet, an expression for them and, it's necessary.

I recently heard of a church who did 90% of their ministry outside the walls of the church and only 10% within. WOW! How thrilling! Last night I chatted with a friend and asked him what he would do with his life if he were able. He wants to open an old theatre, offer espresso drinks and some fancy desserts. I think that would be a great way to be in your community as a business person. There are other churches that I know of who open their doors once a week and make use of their church kitchens by offering a hot meal to their community for free. Other churches I know of get a list from local teachers of students who need new shoes. The church in turn goes out and buys brand new shoes for those students and goes to deliver them individually to the students.

The world needs to see us by our love for one another and for others. I'm frustrated lately with the lack of unity and oneness within the body. We are bogged down by the stupid things that should not even be an issue. I'm frustrated with ridiculous rumors and he said/she said. WHY?! It's just a little way our enemy is getting his ore in our weaknesses. And sadly, we're letting him win.

"Come to the Table: A Recipe Collection from Oregon City Evangelical Church"

"Come to the Table: A Collection of Recipes from Oregon City Evangelical Church"

Our Junior High Youth Department is venturing into a new fundraiser with proceeds going toward their annual Warm Springs Indian Reservation Missions Trip, as well as our up-and-coming Girls Ministry. To begin the process of putting this special cookbook together, we need your recipes! So gather your favorite recipes and find your family recipes in print!

To contribute your recipes, please log on to: http://www.typensave.com/. Click on "Log In" where you will be prompted to enter your name, or the name of the contributor of the recipe and the following information:

Group Login: juniorhigh (one word)
Password: ca8du
Once when the above information is entered you will be directed to the cookbook. If you do not have access to the internet, recipe sheets will be available at the lobby Grand Central desk. Complete a form and return to Anna Shelton.

Pre-sale for the cookbooks will begin TODAY. Each cookbook will be beautifully bound and will include 3 additional sections, besides the normal categories: Ÿ Warm Springs Indian Reservation Recipes
Ÿ From the Pastors Table (our pastors favorites!)
Ÿ The Kids Are Cookin! (easy recipes for kids).

A few pages in the cookbook will be reserved for highlighting local small businesses managed by members of OCEC. Please contact Anna Shelton (503) 473-5347 immediately to purchase your spot for your business. Cost of advertising vary, depending on size.

Each cookbook will sell for $10 and arrive in time for Christmas gifts! Junior high students will be available each Sunday at the Grand Central desk at OCEC to collect your orders. Or, you may contact Anna Shelton to place your order. Make your Christmas list now and pre-order your cookbooks today!

Questions? Please call or email Anna Shelton
Telephone: 503 473-5347
Email: annashelton2007@gmail.com

Berry Park

This afternoon, Josh, Jake (one of our junior high interns/worship leader) and I took a small group of our junior highers to Berry Park, a local retirement. Usually about once a year, it's the junior highers turn to lead the service there. We have a regular pastor who visits them and some other throughout the months, but our official opportunity doesn't arise all that often. It seems we're always a bit hesitant to actually motivate ourselves to go, because it's completely out of our element, but we always seem to come back so much more blessed than when we went in...isn't that true of so many things!?

We led them in some hymns and songs that we sing in youth group and Josh had the youth share a bit about their time at junior high camp. We had so many wonderful testimony's of the Lord's goodness and faithfulness.

I love talking to the residents there afterwards, normally the ladies are the ones who attend the service. I chatted with one lady and then walked her down to dinner with one of our sweet junior high girls. Tear filled her eyes while we talked. She was so touched that young people were that courageous and mature with their relationships with God. She was such a sweetheart. I seriously was so touched by her.

Last year I was able to take a bunch of our small group girls to the same retirement home and we played games with them; then they fed us ice cream! Our time with them is always so rich and it always gives us perspective. We are all at different seasons of life. Some of us are just beginning our lives and some of us are nearing the end. But how wonderful it is to be able to share life together; to not think with pride in our hearts, that any of us have "arrived." I love learning from people who have lived their share of years on this earth and also with the young and naive ones who already think they have life figured out! It's such an amazing contrast. Praise God for wherever he has us!

Josh is Ordained!

I'm so proud of my wonderful husband! This past Wednesday night many of his family and friends witnessed Josh being ordained through our conference of the Evangelical Church. Josh has worked extremely hard to get to this place and God has been so faithful to give him the passion and the strength to follow his Father's will for his life. Josh is delighted to have the work that went into completing his masters degree and ordination work behind him. He can't wait to have more time to put what he's been learning into practice.

I'm so thankful to God for Josh's position as the junior high youth pastor at our church. And it's pretty special to think that I've been able to be with him in this ministry not long after he took it over full time. Not every pastor's wife get's that opportunity! I'm honored!

Josh and I were chatting yesterday about some changes we foresee for our junior high group. I love thinking creatively about how to take the group to the next level. As youth leaders, one really has to understand the culture of the teens in their care as well. Every culture and generation has their own ideas of change and doing life the way they see fits them the best. It is becoming harder and harder, so it seems, to communicate effectively to teens about faith and God and belief. I talked with a high school girl yesterday who told me she has been raised in a Christian home, but she personally has yet to "be convinced" to believe in God.

Many young people today find it hard to believe in God, when they have a slew of friends who believe a mix of that and a smidge of that. A young person's world view can be quite relative.

I feel so blessed to work beside my husband in such an important ministry. He's a wonderful leader and head of our home, as well as a youth leader who leads with his life in sync with where the Lord is leading...how important and inspiring!

We both have commented many times how thankful we are to have two very supportive families who really are prayer warriors. Praise God! It's so impactful to hear our parents and friends say, "We're praying for you!" That makes our day! God is so good and He really can work in ways unseen to us. Praise God for his foreknowledge. In a life that can sometimes be patterned in a sick cycle, it's such a comfort to know we have one sure constant: our Faithful GOD!