Being a Mommy is...

A fake fire roars in front of me. The beagle sits beside me and a definite fall chill is in the air outside. 

Josh is at a youth event tonight and I am home, sleeping little girl upstairs. 

The day has been long and well...exhausting but also many other things. 

Being a mommy is hard work. And I want to be the best mommy that Addy needs me to be. 

At the end of the day, it's important for me to feel as though something in my day has mattered, whether it be reading her "potty book" for the umpteen time, 

getting messy with her arts and crafts, 

cleaning up the same messes or reluctantly folding all six loads of laundry in one night 

because I put it off all day. 

Part of why I blog about our journey is to help me feel like I've done something worthwhile in my day, in a day that can feel the same as any other ordinary day at times. 

Blogging is my way of scrap booking my ordinary memories and allows me to look back on them, perhaps during a time when I need to be reminded of what was once just ordinary. 

I blog mostly for myself (not to sound selfish) and for my family to remember. 

I take tons of pictures, much to my husbands dismay and to my ever growing 

Dropbox account limit. 

I don't want to forget. I don't want my family to forget. 

And yes, I like to cook and bake. 

Memories shared around creating a new meal or dessert, or enjoying it with those I love, are sometimes the best memories I have. 

I can thank my mom for this. I have the best memories cooking with her and royally enjoying the spread of food she would make. 

Food memories can carry with them their own memories of the ordinary. 

My life as a mom can often feel just that: ordinary. 

I don't have the same luxuries or freedoms I once enjoyed. 

Heck, I can't even go to the bathroom alone anymore. 

Not to get to personal, but the ever needy beagle is usually in between my legs and my daughter wants to occupy my attention by asking me tons of questions or sharing a story with me. 

Never. A. Dull. Moment. 

And, I know I'm not alone. 

As a mom, I want to live extravagantly. 

I don't mean extravagant wealth or riches, at least not in monetary ways. 

But to expend myself in rich, costly ways. 

I want to give of myself and delight in the self that God is remaking every day. 

Yes, it can be true: sometimes I miss former freedoms. 

I miss going to more youth events. 

I miss committing and knowing that there really isn't anything else that can come in the way of a commitment. No toddler tantrum, no recurring sickness, no pitiful exhaustion and lack of motivation from trying to do it all. 

I miss hanging out in coffee shops because I loved it. 

I miss going out on a date with Josh and planning it around just us. 

I miss...

Yet, I also am learning to live extravagantly in other ways post motherhood. 

Recently, I've been most blessed by some girls I once had in my former life group. 

Their in college now and came to me on their own with a desire to do a once a month Bible study with me. I'm thrilled. Overjoyed, really. 

Now I see all of our lives coming full circle. I can chat with them as adults. 

Yet, I've shared in their journey to adulthood. 

Being a mommy is exhausting. 

Between all of the household things that need done, teaching and playing with my busy little girl, working part time out of the home at a busy, on my feet, job, 

being a wife, being a friend, 

just being...

As much as I'm a people person, I have learned to love and even crave alone times. 

Sometimes my day feels ordinary. 

Sometimes it feels like the biggest blessing and sometimes I pinch myself that this is my life! 

Being a mommy is indeed life-altering. 

But also life-giving. 

I am so humbled by the countless lessons I learn every single day. 

Some days I'm too exhausted to see the craziness as lessons. 

Today, I came home from working 5 am to 1 pm. My body doesn't handle this fast-paced on my feet job as well as it use to. As soon as I sit, I have a hard time getting back up. I try to push through, but some times I cave and take a nap (if I can) when I get home. Today, I came home and ate my daughter up with kisses, then napped when she napped. I woke up grumpy and felt side ways with my scoliosis pain. I quickly threw some dinner together for Josh and fought with Addy to eat bites before she and I had a fun night as girls. I kissed Josh goodbye and made a mean remark of 

"Can I go to the event?" as Addy was throwing a fit. 

Not that I would have had it in me any way to go.

Sometimes I feel like a failure and like I should be thankful for where God has me in my life.
Why is it that getting some time away as a mom, as a HUMAN BEING is so much work????
While I'm learning to let go, I'm also learning some things that I need to keep my sanity in tacked.

I'm learning that despite how my house may look, how un-kept and put together I may look, that I need to not live my life alone. It actually really brings me down.
I've learned I need play dates, just as much as my daughter.
The other day, my good friend spent most of the day with me and Addy,
I was watching another little toddler friend of ours and her son for the morning
and was so thrilled she wanted to come back not just to pick her son up, but to spend the day with us!

We had SUCH A FUN TIME! I'm discovering I need those times of sharing mommy moments with other friends and their kids. Even if our kids are the main topic of our conversation,
even if we have to start and restart our sentences so many times,
between the "Honey, please don't touch that," and
"Share your toys with your friends, sweetie."
At the end of that day, with two extra little ones around plus my own, I still managed to clean the house a bit, make a dessert for Josh's life group, wipe down the bathrooms, do many sink fulls of dishes, vacuum, plan two crafts for the kids, make dinner and even catch up on some blog posts for encouragement.
By the end of the day, I wasn't exhausted...

I was fulfilled.

I believe I even mentioned to Josh that it was a very fun and fulfilling day.

I need people, I need fellow mom's and fellow parents.
And I need my single friends who don't have to plan their lives around a little one of their own...yet.


I appreciate one of my other friends who makes it a point to get specific times on the calendar for our family to hang out with their family and another couple.
I've loved our times together. They're times I probably wouldn't get, if it were not for my friends intentionality (is that a word?).


Another thing I'm learning is that there really isn't a good time for most things.
There isn't a good time to pick up the phone and catch up with a friend.
There isn't a good time to take a shower.
There isn't a good time to have time with God.

Because my life is best lived in the spontaneous.
If I waited for the right time for most things in my life, they probably wouldn't happen.
Not that I'm trying to say you should wait on the Lord for the right time
for certain things in your life.
I'm more talking about the little things that make relationships work.
Make the phone call (yes your kid(s) may want to be most needy when you're on the phone.
Write that text or note, because you probably will remember to do it when it's too late.
Invite friends over, even when your home isn't put together.

I need people.
As much as I can desire living in the country some days, other days, I'm reminded of my wonderful neighborhood we live in now. Oh the possibilities of catching up with fellow mom's in the area while at the park, taking a walk or playing in the yard.
Heck, I've even gotten to know two Jehovah Witness' who have been coming to our home now for the last several months! Why not??? Talking with them has grown and challenged (in great ways) my own faith and beliefs. And at the end of the day, share your humanity with someone else.
If there is nothing else that you think can happen...fellow humanity needs to know that you also have a messy house, a crazy active toddler and an insane life.
Fellow humanity needs to know that their not exempt from the ordinary.
They too need to know that extravagant life can be found in the ordinary.

Of course this means being intentional, making it a priority, despite the "what if's" and "but this" in your life. We weren't created to be hermits, at least not all the time.


This blog post took about five tries to compose.
Now I'm sitting outside a coffee shop, waiting to meet a friend for lunch.
Prior to coming here, my daughter was somewhat grouchy and non-com-pliable,
this lunch date was planned but certain things leading up to this time away were completely unplanned. Like the severe traffic I sat in, trying to be okay with it jetting into my precious mommy time away. Or the 45 minutes late I was in getting out of the door because we spent the morning as a family, helping to get our garden finally winterized.

And while I've sat here, way too many horns have honked and I've just witnessed a very upset driver who was shaking her hands at the car ahead of her for not moving along fast enough. Seriously?

Sometimes I feel like all the work it takes to be intentional in relationships is just not easy.
Neither is the time and effort it takes to get time away.

Not at all easy in both departments, but totally necessary...all around.

Please Pray For...

Josh's preparation and delivery of tomorrow nights youth lesson on Micah 6:8: "The Lord has told you what is good, and this is what he requires of you: to do what is right, to love mercy, and to walk humbly with your God." Josh will also be giving a similar message at an 8th grade graduation at his former middle school and high school on Thursday night.

Pray for continued preparation for our lesson during junior high camp on "Growing through the storms of life." We are blessed with the opportunity to co-teach for camp again in July.

Anna needs guidance and direction right now with where the Lord will place her next for a job.

Prayer also for the right house to become available to us as we are prayerfully looking to buy a house, hopefully before the end of the year.

Pray for Josh's mom who has recently suffered from a stroke. Pray for complete healing and restoration of her body to its full strength and for answers to puzzling medical questions.

Pray for Anna's parents who both face many health trials. Pray for doctors to have wisdom in their diagnoses and treatment and for renewed strength each and every day.

Pray for our 8th graders who will be leaving shortly to enter high school. Pray for a smooth transition and for open doors and new, healthy relationships as they enter high school. Pray also for our incoming 7th graders as they enter middle school for the first time. Pray for good decision making, choosing right friends and for them to get plugged into church and stay close to the Lord.

A Surprise Date With Josh!

I truly am blessed with a wonderful man to spend the rest of my life with! Last Friday, we decided to take a day together. Josh had the whole thing planned. I felt giddy all day like when we went on some of our very first dates together. He first took me to a new drive thru coffee place called "Black Rock Coffee" where I tried their "Caramel Blondie" and he had an iced Mocha. Yummy in my tummy! Good coffee!

Then Josh surprised me with taking me up to Multnomah Falls, where we hiked to the top of the Falls! BEAUTIFUL!! It was a gorgeous day outside, a perfect day for huffin and puffin our way to the top. It also made me feel quite out of shape! hahha. We really enjoyed the fast walk down from the top!

Then we stopped off at some outlet stores. And, then we made our way to downtown Portland where we were enjoyed a romantic dinner at Stanfords and we're able to use a gift card someone had given us!

What a wonderful date it was!!

My Love...

Marriage is such a gift from God. I can't say how much I LOVE the man that God has given to me...words just don't seem to be enough. If I were to write a Hallmark card, I'd find myself writing a novel (much in the character of my mother!). Josh is truly the perfect fit for me. In all our faults and ideas and traditions, Josh is offering me yet another perspective.

Marriage is a growing together with another person, another soul for life. And what creativity and sense of humor God has! I love how God has joined to different people together and said, now represent Me to that person I've given you!

We've experienced a lot of different transitions since we've been married and we're in another one right now. I'm learning what it means to go the extra mile, to put him before myself, to sacrifice and to listen.

I'm so glad I have Josh to laugh with too! God brilliently knew that humor was a must in my life and Josh and I can share that together. Plus, hearing Josh's laugh is priceless! haha!

I love you baby! Here's to many more days, weeks, months and years with you! Thanks for your love!! I adore being your help mate! :-)

Enjoy Some Pampering!

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CATALOG CONSULTANT
Sells to neighbors, friends, and relatives primarily through catalog orders. Likes the idea of earning a little extra money and buying at a discount.

SHORT TERM CONSULTANT
Sells for a short period of time with a goal in mind. Stops when goal is reached.

HOBBY CONSULTANT
Loves doing parties and earning extra money when it’s convenient.
May work a few shows some months and skip other months entirely.

PART-TIME CONSULTANT
Wishes to make a specific monthly income to pay for an ongoing expense (credit card,
car payment, child’s dance lessons). Regularly dates one or two shows a week.

CAREER CONSULTANT
Consistently dates two parties a week. Views their business as a valuable career, knowing it can provide a full-time income. Pursues leadership.

"Quiet on the set; this is a take!"

This morning has been glorious! I don't know about you, but I love waking up with a goal and motivation to fulfill the goal. Josh and I are trying to be better about the "early to bed, early to rise" motto, once again. Yes, yes, we may fail, but there's nothing more humbling than getting back on the horse. This morning we woke up, put on grunge clothes, hats and sneakers and walked down the hill to our favorite little coffee shop. Over a black and white iced mocha (Anna) and a non-fat vanilla latte (Josh), we both individually pursued God in our personal devo's. We've been attempting to hold one another accountable to getting in the Word on a personal level and then sharing with each other what the Lord is showing us. This morning was a great example of that.

I've been reading out of my new "The Message: Remix" version and soaking up an out of the ordinary way of reading the "story." Today found me in the book of 1 Samuel and Samuel's attempt at hearing the voice of God when he was young. Samuel had a vantage point, a mentor of sorts, Eli (whose two sons were living in disobedience to God). I love the fact that the scripture says God called Samuel three times and then Samuel finally decided that it wasn't his spiritual mentor's voice calling him, but God himself, the ultimate spiritual guide.

Let me share a theme that I've been learning lately in my own life. It goes something like this: Scripture is one big story from start to finish of God's redemptive workings among his creation and his people. How often I tend to loose sight that I am NOT the main character in this story, but that God is! I am NOT the main event, Christ is! I have been graciously invited to play a role in his infinate, eternal story through the pages of history, however vast and complicated and confusing the story plot may seem at times. Praise God, that he invited me to play a role!

John Elderedge, popular Christian author, put together some of his writings into one book titled, "The Ransomed Heart." Each page is a separate selection from various books he has previously written. Today's selection I read was about Samuel hearing the voice of God and consequently hearing the "distant whisper" of God's voice in the pages of the story God is writing and starring in.

Elderedge writes, "In our modern pragmatic world we often have no such mentor [Eli], so we do not understand it is God speaking to us in our heart. Having so long been out of touch with our deepest longing, we fail to recognize the voice and the One who is calling to us through it. Frustrated by our heart's continuing sabotage of a dutiful Christian life, some of us silence the voice by locking our heart away in the attic, feeding it only the bread and water of duty and obligation until it is almost dead, the voice now small and weak. But sometimes in the night, when our defenses are down, we still hear it call to us, oh so faintly--a distant whisper. Come morning, the new day's activities scream for our attention, the sound of the cry is gone, and we congratulate ourselves on finally overcoming the flesh...Having thus appeased our heart, we nonetheless are forced to give up our spiritual journey because our heart will no longer come with us. It is bound up in the little indulgences we feed it to keep it at bay."

God is calling us, he invites us to play a role in his story. How will we listen and how well will we respond when he calls? Samuel heard from the Lord, a fortelling of things to come to his spiritual mentor and his sons, for their unfaithfulness. Samuel told Eli what God said, which was no easy task. What God told Samuel of was death and destruction and shortened lives for their unfaithfulness. What will we do when God calls? Will we acknowledge his voice and play our role in his story, or will we allow pride to overtake our hearts and consume our minds as we settle for nothing less than the Main Character's role in the story?

The other conversation Josh and I had on our way back up the hill was what God was showing Josh this morning. In essence: we have an opposing side, the Devil and his minions. We have a Victor and victory: Christ and his salvation he has so graciously lavished on those who believe.

It is the Satan who tempts; it is God who tests. Christians tend to get the two mixed up at times. Satan places things in our paths that he holds up in front of us to entice our sinful nature and appeal to our flesh. He says, "you can be like God, just do this..." God uses those times of temptation to test how real and hardcore our faith in him really is. The tempting is what Satan uses to throw us off the main plot of the story. The testing is what God uses to say, "now what will you do with it?" How will we undergo the tempting and testing in our lives and how will the outcome alter or change the nature and purpose of the overall story?

Praise God for his victory over Satan, hell and evil! I'm so glad we serve the Victor, the Champion who has already defeated the evil one. Praise the Lord that he is on our side. "And if Christ be for us, who can be against us?"!

In Grace and Truth...

Word of God Speak...In a Fresh, New Way

Josh and I found ourselves rummaging the shelves at Barnes and Noble last night. We had 2 missions: 1) I wanted to see what are popular recent reads for teens, teen girls in particular; and 2) I've been wanting to get a new Bible for a little while.

I love my Bible I use for almost everything. Some people laugh because it's a large print, leather bound New King James Version! Now I'll have you know my eye sight is probably no worse off usual, nor do I claim to be an avid reader of the old English verbage. I actually treasure this Bible. My parents gave it to me when I graduated the 8th grade. It's been through high school, college, multiple youth events and camps. It's well marked up, well loved and well read. The binding started falling apart a few years ago and I had to resort to a stip of ducktape to hold it all together. Yes, it's seen quite a lot.

If you've every experienced reading the same thing, same version over and over again and are dying for a new, fresh way of looking at things scriptually...welcome to my world.

I don't want people to get the impression that I will use this translation for every time I study the word, but I did pick up a version of "The Message: Remix." So far, I'm eating up every word. I thought I'd be trendy and really girly and I picked out a pink one! Now you can all laugh...but I really like it. I began reading Eugene Petersons notes on the first few pages, something I don't often delight in doing for my other Bible translations, and I automatically sensed his passion with writing "The Message." He was a pastor for 40 years and out of those years, his passion grew with communicating God's eternal word with the audience of his day. He didn't attempt to water down, but tried to stay intuned with the original languages (he use to teach Hebrew and Greek).

All in all, this has been another way of getting me into the word. Josh and I are both trying harder when it comes to our personal times with the Lord and consciously making time to immerse ourselves daily. Just as we try to physically get fit, our hearts and minds also require training and committment to seek the heart of God.

If you're struggling with your personal times with the Lord, might I suggest reading the Bible in a new way. This may mean a new translation, a new devotional that highlights the Bible, a read through the Bible in a year method, etc. Whatever it takes to refresh your heart and your mind. "Renew your mind!" draft

A Little Cook Has Overtaken my KITCHEN and...Mayfield Senior!

Wednesday and Thursday little Miss Lizzie the Lizzard, Josh's little sister, came to spend the night with us. She is such a delight and we had a BLAST together! It was planned before hand that, this being her first sleep over with us, we just had to prepare and enjoy our first tea party with her. Well let me tell you, she played the part and played it well!

Before Josh got home from the office on Wednesday, Lizzie and I were hard at work preparing our tea party. The Lizzard made the chocolate chip cookies all by herself! No joke! All I did was put them on the pan and put them in the oven and take them out. She did ALL the measuring and mixing (with her little wooden spoon that came with a matching Apron, towel and chef's hat!). She also prepared our PB & J tea sandwiches! I have never seen someone put such love and precicness into spreading peanut butter and jam! Way to go Liz!

Now, of course we couldn't have served real tea at our tea party, so I asked Lizzie if she like Apple Juice or Milk. Apple Juice was shot down right away, so we settled for milk! I poured milk into our tea pot and said, "Here's the tea!" as I brought it to the table. Of course Lizzie AND Josh (oh beloved husband!) protested that it wasn't tea, it was milk...more than once! Oh ye of little imaginations!

Well our tea party was complete with grapes, watermelon, Macaroni and Cheese, baby carrots and all of the above. Lizzie herself picked out our tea cups and plates (she settled for the strawberry plates and the pink floral cups and saucers).

She loved wearing her apron and using her wooden spoon. I took lots of pictures and sometime soon, I hope to put a few up!

Well today at about 2 p.m. we will be scooting off to Mayfield Senior camp! By gollie it feels like we just were getting back into the swing of things from Junior High camp. We're really excited to see what God has in store for us this week. The topic for the week is on the Spiritual Disciplines, such as prayer and Bible reading. I was asked recently to be part of a team of 3 to help lead students through the stations of the cross. I told my mom about this and she was really excited! The tradition is quite an older one and my mom even remembered it during her years as a Catholic. It really is quite beautiful though because it's interwoven with scripture and prayer all centered around the crucifixion. Mr. Josh is going to be the head Rec. guy again! I suppose that also makes me the "rec babe" as I have affectionately come to be known as. Josh and Tim, one of the junior high interns work so very hard to make sure all of the games are well planned out and all the supplies have been purchased. It's quite a lengthy job and they are a wonderful team together! Way to go Rec Dudes! We will have cell service at this camp, contrary to the last one and I may be able to check my email every once and a while too. Although, there was definitely something quite simplistic about no cell service at our last camp. I think I may find myself missing the option of not checking my cell phone!

Josh is Ordained!

I'm so proud of my wonderful husband! This past Wednesday night many of his family and friends witnessed Josh being ordained through our conference of the Evangelical Church. Josh has worked extremely hard to get to this place and God has been so faithful to give him the passion and the strength to follow his Father's will for his life. Josh is delighted to have the work that went into completing his masters degree and ordination work behind him. He can't wait to have more time to put what he's been learning into practice.

I'm so thankful to God for Josh's position as the junior high youth pastor at our church. And it's pretty special to think that I've been able to be with him in this ministry not long after he took it over full time. Not every pastor's wife get's that opportunity! I'm honored!

Josh and I were chatting yesterday about some changes we foresee for our junior high group. I love thinking creatively about how to take the group to the next level. As youth leaders, one really has to understand the culture of the teens in their care as well. Every culture and generation has their own ideas of change and doing life the way they see fits them the best. It is becoming harder and harder, so it seems, to communicate effectively to teens about faith and God and belief. I talked with a high school girl yesterday who told me she has been raised in a Christian home, but she personally has yet to "be convinced" to believe in God.

Many young people today find it hard to believe in God, when they have a slew of friends who believe a mix of that and a smidge of that. A young person's world view can be quite relative.

I feel so blessed to work beside my husband in such an important ministry. He's a wonderful leader and head of our home, as well as a youth leader who leads with his life in sync with where the Lord is leading...how important and inspiring!

We both have commented many times how thankful we are to have two very supportive families who really are prayer warriors. Praise God! It's so impactful to hear our parents and friends say, "We're praying for you!" That makes our day! God is so good and He really can work in ways unseen to us. Praise God for his foreknowledge. In a life that can sometimes be patterned in a sick cycle, it's such a comfort to know we have one sure constant: our Faithful GOD!